FOMO: What its all about?
Summer seems to have the unique ability to stir up all kinds of emotions. Unlike Summer’s colder and cozier sister, Winter, there is less of an excuse to stay inside and more of an excuse to get out and “do things.” Now, based on our current cultural climate, any particular thing that is being “done,” comes hand in hand with a plethora of media postings. Instagram, Facebook and Twitter become over-loaded during the summer with pictures of weddings, trips to Greece, outside lands or an abundance of other wonderful excursions. No wonder FOMO has a pervasive and overwhelming presence during these summers months. But the question is, what is FOMO really about?
What we KNOW we know about FOMO
What we know about FOMO is that its fear-based and the fear is about missing out on something important, interesting or integral. What we know about fear is that it has a nasty way of infiltrating itself into our lives. But, when fear is present, theres a question about whether its real or imagined. FOMO doesn’t mean I know I am missing out on something life-changing, it means I am afraid that I am missing out on something life-changing. We at San Francisco Counseling Center feel curious about what it would mean to miss out on something.
What we don’t know we know about FOMO
What we don’t know we know about FOMO is that it speaks to a very human, normal and reasonable fear: If i’m not there, will I be forgotten; If i’m not there, is there anyone in the world that is thinking about me. Object permanency is terminology used to describe when a child is able to know and understand that just because the doll is under the blanket, doesn’t mean the doll has totally disappeared. While this is a concept that most children learn to understand by the age of 8-12 months, its no coincidence that the saying “out of sight, out of mind” is used abundantly into the grown up years. Maybe “out of sight, out of mind” speaks a little to the same worries that come from FOMO – if i’m not there, will I still be “there.”
Biologically, we are truly relational beings, meaning that we crave connection. Perhaps, FOMO speaks to a feeling of disconnection and worry about what the consequences will be if we miss something. Researchers have found a rather meaningful correlation between social media and increases in anxiety and depression so its no coincidence that sometimes these pictures of the weddings, trips, etc., stir up some uncomfortable feelings of loneliness, sadness and worry about our lives and the connections or disconnections we experience on a daily basis. If this is the case, maybe we can use FOMO to our advantage – maybe its trying to tell us something.
Next time you feel afraid of missing out, think about who or what you can connect to that might make you feel a little less forgotten and a little more loved.
